“What was not, although it might have been…

By Marilyn Hacker

What was not, although it might have been worse than it was, was still a train wreck. Why did I stop going to the bakery, buying pears, kale, chicken, cheese – eating, when September ripened, spread its ample plen-itudes? Platitudes! With despair in my face, up close, every diminishing day, I locked the door that ought to stay open to people, possibilities. Those nights and days a blur. I slept. I bathed. I dressed and sat there, mind blank, everyone I missed missing. I was dragged out, and forced alive, under the vilifying lights, where once again, I wished it were the past.

Marilyn Hacker is the author of 16 books of poems, most recently “Calligraphies,” as well as 18 books of translations of French and Francophone poets.