Sometimes the only way to say it is in a poem.
My brother Ted recently read this poem to our 85 year old mother and he reported that “when I was done she had tears in her eyes.” I can see why. Absolutely lovely.
The other day I was ricocheting slowly
off the blue walls of this room,
moving as if underwater from typewriter to piano,
from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,
when I found myself in the L section of the dictionary
where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.
No cookie nibbled by a French novelist
could send one into the past more suddenly—
a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp
by a deep Adirondack lake
learning how to braid long thin plastic strips
into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.
I had never seen anyone use a lanyard
or wear one, if that’s what you did with them,
but that did not keep me from crossing
strand over strand again and again
until I had made a boxy
red and white lanyard for my mother.
She gave me life and milk from her breasts,
and I gave her a lanyard.
She nursed me in many a sick room,
lifted spoons of medicine to my lips,
laid cold face-cloths on my forehead,
and then led me out into the airy light
and taught me to walk and swim,
and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.
Here are thousands of meals, she said,
and here is clothing and a good education.
And here is your lanyard, I replied,
which I made with a little help from a counselor.
Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,
strong legs, bones and teeth,
and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,
and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.
And here, I wish to say to her now,
is a smaller gift—not the worn truth
that you can never repay your mother,
but the rueful admission that when she took
the two-tone lanyard from my hand,
I was as sure as a boy could be
that this useless, worthless thing I wove
out of boredom would be enough to make us even.
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you know, my dad made those things when he was laid up on a body cast for 18 months. His he made into a black & white key ring and gave it to his mother. When she died I got her purse she was using at the time in it was that key ring with her keys on it. So I fully understand why your mom had tears in her eyes.
I once made a 3D picture of a Daffodil on the front of a card for Mother’s Day and wrote on the inside that my Mother was BEAUTIFUL! and she loved that construction paper card more than almost anything I ever gave her.
Loved the story, thanks for sharing.